6-9-16

Milly: "The only thing that will bring us joy and happiness right now, is pie."

6-5-16

Milly: "Mom, you birthed a weird one when you had me."  #letyourfreakflagfly

5-14-16

Cora: (calmly while staring intently at me from the back seat) Mom... what do lice eggs look like?
Me: Well they're tiny and either clearish white or clearish br........ CORA! I do NOT have lice.
Cora: (still calmly) Oh, ok. It must just be dandruff then.

‪‎#IDontNeedThisAbuse‬

5-7-16

Milly has a pair of shiny gold pants that are a bit baggy. She was wearing them yesterday and I said "You like those pants don't you?" To which she replied: "Well of course! They're my Hammeroid pants."

‪#‎StopHammeroidTime‬

5-5-16

Cora: (from up in her room) Mom! I'm still hungry!
Me: (hollaring up) Then you can chew on your attitude a little.
Cora: My attitude isn't edible!

#ImRaisingMyself

3-10-16

Cora: Can I get another fish?
Me: No.
Cora: Can I have a dog? All I want is a dog. A dog of my own will make me soooo happy. PLEASE MOM. {ad nauseum, ad infinitim - weeks and weeks}
Cora: Can I get another fish?
Me: Fine.

I think I just got lawyered.

2-5-16

Milly's prayer tonight (I listened on the monitor):

"Dear God, I don't know why we have to bother you. Today is the 102nd day of school and my sister is almost in 4th grade and I'm almost in 1st grade, so thank you and I love the Unicorns."

#LoveTheUnicorns