10-17-12

Last night as I was tucking Cora in we had this conversation:

Cora:  Mom God made the grass and the trees and the fences, right?
Me:  Well God made the grass and the trees but not the fences.  But She made the wood the fences are made from.  {Cora refers to God as "she"}
Cora:  What else did She make?
Me:  All of nature!  Alllll the animals, allllll the bugs, allll the birds, alllll the plants and much, much more! The bible tells us God imagined and created everything in nature.
Cora:  Wow!  She must have had a HUGE piece of paper to draw that all out before She made them!

10-16-12

Tonight I was singing Milly her ritual 3 songs before sleepy time. After my first two I gently brushed a lock of hair from her forehead and asked her "What do you want for your last song, sweetie?" She equally as gently reached up and touched my forehead and said "I wan' you to be aw done." :/

9-28-12

I had just come back from being gone on a business trip for three days.  Not home 20 minutes, Milly did something dangerous so I had to yell to get her attention.  This absolutely crushed her little feelings and she started to sob hysterically.  So I went over, scooped her up, patted her back and told her, "Mommy's sorry honey - but I needed to get your attention fast, so I had to be loud. I didn't mean to break your little heart".     To which she lifted her head and looked at me with hangdog eyes and said "You did. You bwoke my hawt."   Ohhhh.  :(

9-25-12

In the car this morning I was running through my usual "The Help" based litany and this was my exchange with Milly:

Me:  Is Milly kind?
Milly: No. 
Me: Oh I think she is!  Milly is kind!  Is Milly smart?
Milly: No.
Me: Oh of course she is!  Is Milly important?
Milly:  No!  No I not 'portant.  I Milly!

09-19-2012

Last night Cora was having a rough go getting to sleep. It was a combination of a late nap butting up against bedtime and getting over being sick and going stircrazy.  So we gave her a small dose of melatonin (nectar of the gods for sleep deprived parents) and this was what she told me:

Cora:  Mom, do you know how melatonin works?
Me:  I'm curious. How?
Cora:  He travels up to your brain, and all your bad dreams, he throws them in the trash can.  The dreams you want to keep, he just holds on to them forever.  Or if you want none dreams that night, he puts them on a self in the pantry of your brain to save for later. Because that's where we put the food we don't eat right away - in the pantry.  And we save it for later.  Because if we ate it all at once we'd be out of food and that would be sad.

Sad indeed.

An Open Letter to Cora

I wrote this for Cora after her first day of Kindergarten on August 15th. I'm a bit late in posting it, and I've not read it to her.  It will be for her in later years to read and understand.  But here it is nonetheless.

My dearest, dearest little one,

Today you took a big step in the biggest adventure any of us will ever encounter: life.  Today was your first day of Kindergarten.  While we’ve had our share of firsts together before today (first day of day care, first day of pre-school, etc) today was somehow symbolic of something bigger.  Today, I didn’t just leave you in the care of others, hoping that they would teach you, guide you, and love you; but today I gave you over.  No longer are you in the relative protection of this mama bird’s wingspan.  Today, as I watched you walk up that new cement walkway, I gave you over to the world. 

We had no tears – neither you nor I.  And for that I was thankful. It was hard to hide my own nervousness – would she make friends, would she like her teacher, would I get a phone call halfway through the day – but it was what I knew needed to be done so that we could both take that walk with excitement in our steps.  Aside from the treat in your lunchbox, the note in your bag, the hug and kiss, the last gift I could leave you with was seeing a happy, proud, excited mom who just knew you were going to love this strange place – even if inside, mom wasn’t so sure. 

Your teacher asked that we not walk you to your classroom.  That instead we find a school helper and let them lead you the rest of the way.  I understood her point – this was to help prevent those last minute “oh my gosh this is real” tears and tantrums (from kids AND parents!) and so I respected her request.  But as the kindhearted blonde in the white and black dress took your little hand in the atrium and began to lead you down that long, long hallway I wondered if I’d done the right thing.  As your little figure got lost in the swarm of students, parents, and faculty I craned my neck for one last view.  And then you turned around. Just to see if mama was still there.  And I was.  As I always will be.  I will always be just behind you – supporting you, cheering you on, believing in you.  Even if you can’t see me.  But on that day I caught your eye just in time and gave you a huge grin and a big wave.  Then you were off again, and got swallowed up in the sea of kids off on their own adventures.

No matter what the next 13 years brings you – and even on beyond – my prayer for you is simple:  remember how very much you are loved, and how very much you are worth.  If you grow up knowing those two things I have done my job and will be happy.  You are my sweet, kind, gentle, sensitive, deep-feeling, curious, smart, darling.  And while those traits will serve you well and endear you to others, they can be hard to live.  Your feelings will be hurt a little more easily.  Your pride will be bruised more readily.  Your self-esteem will be chipped away over things most children would never notice.  And I worry for you over that.  But I would not trade your nature for anything.  Because it will make you into a wonderful woman who has a heart to share with the world and gifts that only God knows the limits of.  And today was the first step on the way to getting the tools you need to share that gift in the best possible way – whatever that may be.  And I hope you share it with alacrity.  I am so proud of you.

I love you Cora Claire.  

7-22-12

Cora tonight:  "I love God.  I think she [I love she calls God a she] is beautiful. I love her so much I'd love to go live with her!"


Ummmm ok, but can that wait a while?  Like a looooong while please!?
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Number two from Cora tonight: Milly bonked her mouth tonight and it bled a fair bit. Cora asked to say her prayer tonight with no one watching her. But we could hear it "God, please let Milly's lip feel better by tomorrow because she's my sister and I love her." ♥
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And finally one from Milly.  My mom and I got ourselves in a bit of pickle as Cora overheard us telling Milly she was soooo cute.  Cora asked what SHE was. I told her she was beautiful.  My mom added that big girls are beautiful and little girls are cute.  Milly looked at my mom and said "MeMe!  I beautiful TOO!"  You go girlfriend.