5-21-18

Kids (last Friday): Mom! They're is literally NOTHING here for breakfast except cereal. I'm so tired of cereallllll. Do we have ANYthing else?
Me (feeling momshamed): No sorry. Tell you what, I'll let you have breakfast at school today and I'll get to the store this weekend
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Me: goes grocery shopping over the weekend and buys bagels with cream cheese, Eggo blueberry waffles, microwave pancakes, toaster french toast, and syrup.
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Me: *comes down this morning to find kids eating cereal* Ummmmm did you not remember I bought you like five thousand hot things to eat for breakfast?!
Kid: Yeah but this is just so much faster!
Me: ..... 🤦🏻‍♀️

5-15-18

Phone: *caller ID* /school/
Me: Hello?
School: Hi Kristi. This is Jessica, the school nurse. We had an issue today out on the playground at recess.
Me: *wondering if my kid got hurt or hurt someone else* Yes?
Nurse: Well we have some trees out on the playground...
Me: *gathering purse, mentally mapping out trip to ER*
Nurse: ... and some of them are in bloom. And well Camilla..... well she ate some of the blossoms off of the tree....
Me: .......
Nurse: *in a rushed voice* We've already called Earl May and Poison Control and they are not poisonous! They may irritate her throat a little at worst. 
Me: *BREAKS INTO DEAD BELLY LAUGHTER*
Nurse: *starts laughing* I'm so sorry to laugh
Me: *laughing into tears* Why are you sorry? My kid ate foliage! She literally ate a tree!

5-7-17

I offered my kids fifty cents for each fly in the house that they kill. They are now sneaking around the house in a focused psychopathic fervor that should probably scare me.

4-18-17

This past weekend the girls and I got to talking about music I listened to in college. I was explaining it sure wasn't Selena Gomez and Shawn Mendes. So we went on a little auditory trip with Garbage, The Cranberries, Alanis Morissette (limited), the Breeders, etc. I was explaining it was the era of very angry but very determined women.

Since then I have come downstairs about every morning to Milly Moo listening to Zombie by the Cranberries. She is ENAMORED of the song. And of Dolores O'Riordan in general. We've looked up photos of her (then and now), learned about where she's from, listened to lots of songs.... I pretty much love it. But then again Milly is my little music fairy - she'll listen to a song and just tear up. Then when it's over she'll just go back to what she was doing as if nothing happened.

2-18-17

"Do not reach into your sisters shirt to try and steal her loris!"

Thing number 57422 I never thought I'd say.

1-4-17

Wednesday is "late start" day in our district so the girls get an extra hour of sleep. SLG always wants me to wake her up before I go to work for a quick hug, but I'm often torn since she can usually use the extra snooze time. This morning I was running late trying to get dinner in the crock pot before I left, so I was sneaking off to work in the quiet dark. I was just getting my stuff into the car and had one foot into the driver's seat when I saw little Cindy Lou Who in the doorway with the light from the mudroom behind her - her Little Mermaid short sleeve/shorts jammies on - and rumpled hair backlit every which way. Unlike her namesake, this Cindy Lou Who did not have such a placid disposition and huge tears were falling down a dismayed face. Stalling for time I said "Mills - what are you doing? What's wrong?" She said "You're leaving without hugging me!" And in true Grinch-like quick thinking I said "Oh honey - I'm just putting my stuff in the car - I was coming RIGHT NOW to hug you!!" After I ran back to the mudroom, shut the door and gave big hugs, Cindy Lou wandered back upstairs and back to bed. Whew. I wonder if my heart grew three sizes this morning?

12-11-16

Milly said she wanted an ice cream maker for Christmas. We have the ice cream attachment for my Kitchenaid that I haven't used in forever. So I spent the night last night looking up instructions on how to use the thing, new recipes for it,  and Ryan got the ingredients at the store. I dug out the attachment, cleaned it, and froze it. Tonight I had it going while we ate dinner. When dinner was done I told Milly to come look at Fern (the mixer) with me. I was so happy. When she figured out what it was she said "No that's not the kind of maker I want at all." And walked away. And that's the story of how I came to only have one child.