3-13-19

Modern day parenting with my 8 year old. I'm such an amazingly involved parent. I should probably write a lifestyle blog and start an insta feed.

7-21-18

Going through the girls" suitcases to make sure they packed appropriately for the trip.

11 year old: packed enough clothes and underwear; packed toothbrush; refused to pack nice outfit in case of dinner out despite being reminded; everything folded; no shoes.

8 year old: Nothing folded; no organization whatsoever; packed 15 plastic mini figurines, one tiara and a gun; packed very fluffy pink dress in case of dinner out; packed no toothbrush; packed one pair of fleece footie pajamas; most things packed are from dirty clothes; also no shoes.

5-21-18

Kids (last Friday): Mom! They're is literally NOTHING here for breakfast except cereal. I'm so tired of cereallllll. Do we have ANYthing else?
Me (feeling momshamed): No sorry. Tell you what, I'll let you have breakfast at school today and I'll get to the store this weekend
---
Me: goes grocery shopping over the weekend and buys bagels with cream cheese, Eggo blueberry waffles, microwave pancakes, toaster french toast, and syrup.
---
Me: *comes down this morning to find kids eating cereal* Ummmmm did you not remember I bought you like five thousand hot things to eat for breakfast?!
Kid: Yeah but this is just so much faster!
Me: ..... 🤦🏻‍♀️

5-15-18

Phone: *caller ID* /school/
Me: Hello?
School: Hi Kristi. This is Jessica, the school nurse. We had an issue today out on the playground at recess.
Me: *wondering if my kid got hurt or hurt someone else* Yes?
Nurse: Well we have some trees out on the playground...
Me: *gathering purse, mentally mapping out trip to ER*
Nurse: ... and some of them are in bloom. And well Camilla..... well she ate some of the blossoms off of the tree....
Me: .......
Nurse: *in a rushed voice* We've already called Earl May and Poison Control and they are not poisonous! They may irritate her throat a little at worst. 
Me: *BREAKS INTO DEAD BELLY LAUGHTER*
Nurse: *starts laughing* I'm so sorry to laugh
Me: *laughing into tears* Why are you sorry? My kid ate foliage! She literally ate a tree!

5-7-17

I offered my kids fifty cents for each fly in the house that they kill. They are now sneaking around the house in a focused psychopathic fervor that should probably scare me.

4-18-17

This past weekend the girls and I got to talking about music I listened to in college. I was explaining it sure wasn't Selena Gomez and Shawn Mendes. So we went on a little auditory trip with Garbage, The Cranberries, Alanis Morissette (limited), the Breeders, etc. I was explaining it was the era of very angry but very determined women.

Since then I have come downstairs about every morning to Milly Moo listening to Zombie by the Cranberries. She is ENAMORED of the song. And of Dolores O'Riordan in general. We've looked up photos of her (then and now), learned about where she's from, listened to lots of songs.... I pretty much love it. But then again Milly is my little music fairy - she'll listen to a song and just tear up. Then when it's over she'll just go back to what she was doing as if nothing happened.

2-18-17

"Do not reach into your sisters shirt to try and steal her loris!"

Thing number 57422 I never thought I'd say.